This article explains the steps between forming a connection with a person and convincing them with sincerity and honesty. For example, if you try to convince your friend to try a new dish at your favourite restaurant, you will first talk about its taste, the new recipe’s USP, and describe what was so appealing about it. Your friend may then agree to try out this new recipe. ## **KEY NOTE #1: HOW DO YOU FORM A CONNECTION WITH ANOTHER PERSON?** Emotional connection is important. Remember when Amazon introduced Carvaan, a device to play old nostalgic songs? The songs immediately connected you with golden memories of yesteryears. You form an instant emotional content with the product — that of losing yourself in a long-forgotten world of pleasant old memories. But in a regular sales job, it is difficult to form a connection. Sales jobs are tough and only 20 percent of the time will you even have someone respond to your phone call, politely. That’s because you may be skipping the connect part and trying to convince him instantly about a product. To form an Emotional Connect, you can use the SHE model: - S is for senses - H is for honesty - E is for empathy #### **A. Senses:** It means literally using your senses to form a connection. Smile**,** make strong eye contact, and be a good listener. Listen, rather than using your tongue all the time. **For example:** If you go jogging in a park and then come across one of the joggers somewhere else, you will smile instantly and a connection is formed because both of you go jogging in the same park. Similarly, suppose you have to give a presentation and when you enter the conference room, you feel nervous seeing so many people seated there. You can smile at everyone, and people will smile back. You will form an instant connection and the atmosphere will suddenly be conducive to conversation. #### **B. Honesty** - Show genuine interest in what people want - Focus on their problem - Find a connector **For example:** A customer walks in and says that he finds his present phone very problematic because of its low battery life. The battery can serve as the connector here and you can echo his sentiments, saying, “Yes, I agree, battery problems can be tiresome.” You can also try the technique with a friend: Suppose your friend walks in late and blames the traffic, rather than giving your own opinion, say, “Yes, you are right.” There is an instant agreement and your friend thinks that you genuinely understand his problems. That’s what you want: an instant connection forged by honesty. #### **C. Empathy** Don’t criticise someone. Don’t show disrespect and belittle someone else’s problems. Find a solution instead rather than criticising someone or something. Show encouragement as well. These three points establish a strong connection, and convincing now happens automatically. ## **KEY NOTE #2: HOW DO YOU CONVEY YOUR MESSAGE TO SOMEONE?** Let’s take some significant figures from India’s heritage and history: Take the example of Chanakya, who was also known as Kautilya or Vishnu Gupta. This philosopher, teacher, and economist was a royal advisor to the Maurya Kings. Then, there was Birbal, who was an advisor to the Mughals. Why would these powerful kings listen to these two men? That’s because they perhaps used the **CCA** strategy on these powerful kings: #### **1. C – Contemplate** Think before you speak. This can be best explained by the example of the execution of the rebellion leader in Nicholas I’s reign in Russia in 1825. The rope broke when the rebellion leader was being hung, and generally, if such a thing happened, it would be interpreted as an omen from God leading to a pardon. But the rebellion leader scoffed at this and said sarcastically, “In Russia, even a rope is not of good quality.” When Nicholas I heard about this remark the next day, he ordered a re-execution to prove the rebel leader’s words wrong. Let’s analyse this incident. Had the rebellion leader not spoken in anger and not hurt the ego of the emperor, his life would have been spared. So, think before you speak. No solution is found without contemplating the problem. #### **2. C – Customisation** You need to customise your solutions for different people. **For Example:** You can please a greedy person by giving gifts. With another person who is trying to make use of you, your strategy will be different. You will either ignore him or make friends with him quietly. An idiot will be happy when you praise him, but you will deal with an intelligent person differently. Learn about the person first. Know the truth of the saying: **A man is known by the company he keeps.** #### **3. A – Avoid Over-Arguments** People say that if you want to end a dispute, avoid the situation altogether. Let me give you the example of Dale Carnegie, the famous author of ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People,’ who once visited the tax officer who had marked a tax on an item worth $ 900, despite it belonging to the no-tax or debit category. The tax officer was new and was focussed on proving his intelligence. Dale mentioned that the item was not taxable, but the officer ignored him. Dale understood at once that the officer wished to show off his knowledge in his new job. He casually mentioned to the officer that the position he, the officer was in, was beyond his comprehension. The tax officer was pleased and pulled his chair forward and started recounting to Dale how he had a formidable reputation in his previous assignments as one who knew his job well. Dale had failed to convey his point about the non-tax status but had used the proven technique of customisation. The tax officer told him to wait for two days to see the fate of his package. It had been placed in the free debit or no-tax category! Isn’t that a great example? That is how you can learn from real-life examples. ## **KEY NOTE #3: HOW TO CONVINCE ANOTHER PERSON?** How can we leave a lifetime impression on others? There is only one rule for convincing a person and that is not to convince at all. Just connect; and people will be automatically convinced. **For example:** If you are ill, you visit the doctor. The doctor doesn’t just prescribe medicine. He first establishes a connection. He enquires about your health and symptoms, then examines and finally diagnoses before writing the prescription. You are already convinced that his treatment is great and you will eat the medicines. Remember the formula the doctor used? Just consult and you will be convinced automatically. If you set off to convince someone, you will never be able to do it. #### **In Conclusion:** - Build emotional connect - Build a relationship - Don’t sell a product - Customisation is important - Think before you speak _No tricks are needed to win someone’s trust. This is done by being honest in your intentions and by understanding human psychology._